Monday, October 23, 2006

Lost Friends

I have been thinking a lot about my best friend from Junior High and High school, Misti. We were joined at the hip from 8th grade until my junior year. Then something happened and we had a bit of a falling out. We did stay in touch a little after high school. I saw her about 6 years ago, but 0nce again we lost touch.

I am in a bit of a flux right now. I have lived in this house for a little over 4 years. For much of that time I was working and that is where I had my social life. When I was home it was family time. I didn't have time for friends. I quit working after my second daughter was born and it was then that I realized how socially isolated I was. In the last 19 months I have established a support system. I have a few wonderful close friends and La Leche League. It all started falling a part when one of my across the street neighbors moved to the suburbs. It isn't far, but she isn't across the street anymore. The first month I still saw her quite often, but as time passes I see her less and less. Life is just so busy and it is so hard to coordinate schedules. Last week another across the street neighbor moved too! Again, out to the burbs. This last move was about 10 days ago. This was a very close friend and someone I really miss. We both have 2 kids and are busy so we didn't see each other everyday, but our kids play together often and we even had a babysitting swap worked out for date nights. Our kids played one last time as neighbors as she and her husband (as well as my husband and some kind neighbors) packed the moving van and I cried when she left. Again, she isn't far, but she isn't there to watch the girls at a moments notice or to take out my trash cans when I am on vacation. I miss her a lot. Now I am facing an even bigger crisis. My close friend and knitting mentor, Kim, will be moving soon too. I have known she would be moving for at least 6 months, but I have been in denial. Now it is becoming real and I am very sad. I swear I won't make friends who rent anymore. Renters moveaway! Only homeowners from here on out! Now to be fair there is a very real probability that my husband will be accepting a new job out in booney land. I try not to think about that. I am feeling isolated with my friends moving....I am not sure my soul can handle the thought of our family moving too. I know that with cell phones, emails, this blog etc I can stay in touch with the friends I have now, but I have lost touch before......That brings me back to Misti.

I googled her and her husband and did get a couple of hits. Google is amazing. I found her husbands email address and sent him a letter. I hope the address is current. It would really mean a lot to touch base with her again. I will keep you updated. You know it isn't that I haven't kept in touch with anyone. I have. My younger sister and I had the same group of friends my senior year (she was a sophomore). I still talk to all of those girls when I can. We set up reunions when ever possible. However, there are so many friendships that have simply drifted away. I am terrified of that happening again. I don't want to lose 6 years of friendship with anyone else!

The weird part is that I am pretty good at keeping in touch. I am great at returning emails. I email a few women at least once a week. Some of them I haven't even met in person. I also belong to couple of bulletin boards that I post to very regularly. I know things about these many of these women that their husbands don't even know!! In some ways.....well in most ways actually, I have a more active social life online. The problem is that even though I really cherish those friendships they aren't all that real. I can't see or touch them. I can't go to luch or cry ontheir shoulder. The friends I can see and touch are moving and even if they weren't I probably am. I know I can make more friends, create a new support syste, but I love the ones I have now. My best friends are becoming scattered. One lives in Idaho, my baby sister is in California, one lives in the burbs, and now one will be moving to the midwest. Some one needs to work on that transportation beam they have on Star Trek. I feel like having a bit of a tantrum.

I don't want to make new friends!! I want the ones I have now to stay close!!

You know the kicking, stomping and crying really does help. Maybe my little ones are on to something!! LOL

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, even if we do move, you're not getting rid of me. I will be hard on us too. Seth will miss Aurora terribly. Heck, he misses her after not seeing her for a week. He was making his friend Gunnar be Mom today and he was Dad. He misses his girlfriend.
You know we'll stay in else will Seth and Aurora get married someday?!?!?